L gave me a new set of payal she bought for herself but no longer wants to wear. I haven't worn any payal for ages. But I wear these ones because it almost feels like a parting gift. Somehow, payals become connected to weddings. Smriti had given me a very pretty payal with green beads the year she was getting married- no, the year she was leaving for the United States. Anyhow, they do find an association with departure.
Payals have all kinds of patriarchal connotations according to feminism. They're supposed to have been invented by men in the Indian society to monitor their women's mobility. As long as the payal is making the tingling-jingle, you know the woman/girl is still in the house. Hmmmm...one could call payals "euphemism" in that sense. Make a girl feel pretty without telling her you are giving her shackles.
But I wore the payal to bed last night, even when I am not in the habit of wearing anything that touches my skin closely, to bed. I noticed how the thin silver string made my ankles took frail and pretty and I didn't care what feminism said about it. But are women pretty only when they are frail? (I find strong women beautiful.)
When I lay in bed, I could feel the silver clinging to my ankles. But I soon forgot about them and thought about impossible you, who refuses to leave, especially at night, even when you have nothing to do with touching my skin.
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